Friday, May 30, 2008

Lateral Thinking... Just Check This Out!!!!


Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

man
1. ------------

board

Ans. = man overboard

stand
2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand

OK?.... Got the drift? Let's try a few now and see how you fair?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a

d

Ans. = cross road

5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

0
6. ------------
M.D.

Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

knee
7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)

ground
8. ---------------

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

9. he's / himself

Ans. = he's by himself

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

12. THINK

Ans. think big !!

And the last one is real fundoo ..

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....

Ans. long time no 'C' (see)

--
Regards

Apurv Shah

software Engineer
Leo Systems And Solutions,
540,Clover center
7,Molidina Road
Pune 411001
Ph : (O) 020-26111560, (M) 09823676454
MSN Im : apurva_shah1301@hotmail.com
Sunday, May 25, 2008

CHAIN REACTION.........................


Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
So make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.

Grandpa
(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement
.
Regards,
CA Vivek Gupta

BE IN TOUCH


Just the way a rain drop brings hope to a dying flower,



Your smile might bring hope to someone who is lost.
Give the world your best smile.....
Today, tomorrow and everyday.

Have a Lovely Day....!

Take Care and Be in touch always.

The Corporate language !!


"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"


"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"


"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"


"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"


"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"


"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."


"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"


"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"


"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"


Ajay Prasad
Sanjay Chopra & Co.
G-80, Lajpat Nagar-I
New Delhi-110024
Cell No :- 9999681785
Wednesday, May 21, 2008

NEW STYLE LOVE LETTER


My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) ,
  • after WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much ,I dare to say that You are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and BOSCH (Invented for life) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are SANSUI(Better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh ) feeling for me.
  • I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).

  • If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye). For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The World's best homemakers)

  • Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for each other) . Now that HYUNDAI(we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life) , SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy ) and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!

I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).

LG
(Digitally Yours) !!!!!
bye bye __._,_.___
.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

SUCESS REQUIRES PATIENCE




"MOST" used alphabet "A" doesn't appear in spellings of



"1" to "999"




It appears for the first time in




"1000"(thousand) & continues



MORAL:Success requires "Patience"and "Faith"
Wednesday, May 14, 2008

OLD STORY NEW VERSION


Saturday, May 10, 2008

FUNNY DEFINITIONS!!!!!!!@#$%^&*()_+?><:"{}~


School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

cid:_1_08CA087808CA043C003E47D2652573A7



Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
cid:_2_08CA114408CA0E90003E47D2652573A7


Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
cid:094291617@31122007-16de

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.


Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
cid:_1_08CA20B408CA1DE4003E47D2652573A7


Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
cid:_1_08CA240C08CA1DE4003E47D2652573A7


Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
cid:_2_08CA2B8C08CA28E8003E47D2652573A7


Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
cid:_2_08CA335408CA3090003E47D2652573A7


Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
cid:_2_08CA3AC008CA3830003E47D2652573A7


Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
cid:_1_08CA425408CA3F98003E47D2652573A7


Father:
A banker provided by nature.
cid:094291617@31122007-16e5


Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
cid:_1_08CA510808CA4E88003E47D2652573A7


Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
cid:_2_02619A340A0D1760003E47D2652573A7


Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
cid:_1_0261B07C0261AD74003E47D2652573A7


Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
cid:_1_0261B8200261B558003E47D2652573A7


Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Modern Heights


Modern Heights



1. What is height of Fashion?

A. Dhoti with a zip .


************ **

2. What is height of Secrecy?

A. Offering blank visiting cards.


************ **



3. What is height of Active laziness?

A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.


************ **

4. What is height of Craziness?

A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.


************ **

5. What is height of Forgetfulness?

A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.


************ **

6. What is height of Stupidity?

A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

************ **

7. What is height of Honesty?

A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.


************ **

8. What is height of Suicide?

A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.


************ **

9. What is height of De-hydration?

A. A cow giving milk powder.

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