Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Should u really marry a CA?????

When I told my mom that I wanted a professional woman as my wife, she got me one; a Chartered Accountant..

  • She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food.
  • She thinks I am no good at figure work. Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the house.
  • Initially she used to send me a bill at the month end, but when I told her that I am not her client but her husband, she asks for the money in advance.
  • The expenses had been rising steadily over the months, so one day I snooped into the papers maintained in a current file.
  • No wonder! She was charging conveyance and overtime to the house budget.
  • She is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me. "No my darling, I am the auditor."
I fail to see the light.
  • Every scrap of the paper in our house is filed.She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep a copy of every thing for at least ten years before destroying it.
I am worried.

  • The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got to know that she had charged that hour to a client of hers, in the time sheet. My time was put down as unoccupied.
  • She says that she loves me and I tell her that I love her too. However, she never believes me. She says that there is susceptibility of it being a misstatement. Duh! She wants my representation on this & Expert opinion of some Expert!
  • Not a long time back my brother's wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding cards had been sent. After some time I started receiving a steady trickle of letters. I was puzzled until my wife explained that external evidence was more reliable. She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards were sent.
  • When she cooks, my wife at times does not go by recipe. Where the recipe says add half-teaspoon vinegar, one tsp black salt or one teacup of water, she ignores them. She says that they are not material when taken in context of whole meal being prepared.
  • She is crazy, I tell you. Surprisingly everybody calls her an auditor, instead. I checked the dictionary and it did not state that auditor is a synonym for crazy. The dictionary must be outdated. When we got married, she had given me an Engagement Letter and I Had said how cute-how sweet. Now she gives it to me every year saying that her standards state that it must be sent a new if there is any indication that I have misunderstood the objective and scope of engagement. Huh!
  • Apart from sending me the engagement letter once again she says I can't get rid off her just like that. She says that she has the right of being heard before I appoint some one else. It seems I must keep reading one local and another English newspaper published and circulated in the vicinity of our house for more details.
  • Phew! For a minute, I thought that we had jeopardized our going concern status. Duh! Dare I say so?? I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CA that the scenario is even worse when the guy is a CA.Apparently he capitalized the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses and is writing it off every year.
  • Also the time he spent dating his wife before marrying her is still under consideration for valuation under AS-26...valuation of intangible assets.

So guys please think twice....should u really marry a CA? And yes please discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the present value of the risk of doing so.

Thanks & Regards,

Husain S Sariya
Articled Assistant

Dinesh Radhakrishnan
Assistant Manager
Audit & Assurance
Deloitte Haskins & Sells
Mobile : 98333 44459

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