ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
- Smart man + smart woman = romance
- Smart man + dumb woman = affair
- Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
- Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
- Smart boss + smart employee = profit
- Smart boss + dumb employee = production
- Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
- Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
- To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
- Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
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